Ok, so I managed to make my wife angry.
I try to be a good husband, I really do.
Here was my thought, with some background tossed in like a sprinkling of paprika.
We're nearing our 10th wedding anniversary. September. Naturally, I'm too poor and cheap to be able to upgrade her wonderful engagement ring, so I had a thought. Actually, the thought erupted while I was looking at an ad for a jewelry store (www.affinitystyle.com) in the local community rag. I recall really digging their rings, specifically those that show up on the top of the front page of the web site.
So, back to the lone thought. What if - and it was a really tentative "what if" - instead of upgrading her ring, we upgraded mine to a hip stainless steel setting with a small princess-cut (takes a REAL man to say that) sapphire to match hers so that we look even more wonder-twin-ish?
My current ring is great. No, really. I wear it every day and only take it off to show people the inscription ("To my fairy tale prince...") from my bride. It's a 10k band. That's it.
So I bring up this idea and I am hit with "so how long have you harbored this dislike for your wedding band, the one tangible symbol of our marriage?"
She was serious. She thought that I completely hated my wedding band and this was a plot to do away with it.
See, here's where Guy-Logic(tm) differs from Chick-Logic(tm). Guys tend to move in this blissfully-happy Disney-like world where things are simple and those who say what they say mean what they say, of course, unless they are lying, at which point they appear like this big Disney-like villain. Women seem to move in a world where what someone says is far less important than what they were wearing, what they were doing, etc. It's really in the details, I guess, and guys generally don't need them. For us, things are straightforward.
So when I said what I said to my wife, which included a "why dont we go to the store together and you can pick out what you would like to give me" so that she would feel more like she had selection in the gift and also clearly stating that this was just an idea, not an "I'm leaving home if you don't buy me this ring" statement, I meant what I said.
She heard, "I hate you and your taste in everything."
See, women. DOn't get 'em a lot of the time, and I have been in training for two decades. For example, let me demonstrate a recent phone call between me and a buddy who wanted to know if we could go to dinner with him and his wife.
Him: So, can you guys go to Fong's House of Frog Parts tonight? You know, they have that "all you can eat on a gibbet" special...
Me: I'd love to, but we've got soccer practice tonight and probably cant go after the game.
Him: You know, my Mom has cancer.
Me: Man, that's rough. She doing okay?
Him: Yeah, she'll probably do chemo soon.
Me: Wow. That's rough. You holding up ok?
Him: Yeah. Ok, gotta run. Wife's home and we gotta figure out where to go to dinner.
Me: Ok. Later.
So, I get off the phone and the wife says, "WHo was that?" So I tell her. "What did he want?" So I tell her he invited us to dinner and that his Mom has cancer. Pretty much, I've delivered all the info I have access to. She wants to know at what restaurant, if his wife was going, what she was wearing, how work was going for him, if their kids were going to summer camp, how his wife's horticulture class was going, if the mother was taking herbal remedies and if he thought her hair might fall out because we could definitely sponsor something from Locks of Love and when we could visit her in the hospital and what hospital she was at and if that hospital had a good cafeteria and...
You get the point.
Guys: Get the info. Move on. Case closed.
Women: Get the info. Get more info. Get the important info. Get the middling info. Get the useless and tiresome info. Then ask some more questions. Case slightly ajar.
So, what do the women think I should have done?